Emwyn's Choice
by Emwyn Kenothed
Summary: Emwyn Kenothed, Warder to Delanna Sedai, is forced to choose between her lover and her Aes Sedai.


Emwyn knew it would come to this. She had seen it coming, had been told by the girl in those strange breeches that she would be forced to choose between her lover and her Aes Sedai. Watching Cairn's silhouette creep to the side of the bed Delanna was sleeping on, she willed him to just be mistaking the Aes Sedai for her. She heard the sharp slide of metal against leather as he pulled out a short dagger and a shiver coursed through her body as the truth hit home.  
  
She was right. Her mind was numb, though she knew she should be racing to come up with a plan. The girl in breeches was right. She heard herself moan her lover's name and he froze and crept to her side of the bed, quiet and lethal, as he always was. Being a Warder himself, he had always had a dangerous look to his rugged face. Blond, shaggy hair and an infectuous laugh made him attractive until you looked him in the eyes. The bluntness and lack of emotion in them had frightened many a trained warrior. Now they were calculating but gentle. "Emwyn, are you awake?" His voice was gruff, but quiet enough that Delanna didn't stir next to her.  
  
"I'm awake, darling," Emwyn choked out. She reached a hand out in the dark for him, coming up against a strong, bare chest. She had always loved touching his chest, tracing her hands down his shoulders to his stomach, measuring her tiny hands against his wide shoulders and broad chest.  
  
"Go back to sleep, chalinda." Sweet girl, she thought, tears welling in her eyes. There was a fondness in his voice and she knew he was saying goodbye to her forever. She felt her end drawing near, for when Delanna died, she would also die. The Spring filled her with its calm and she knew what she had to do. She knew where her loyalties now lay, never to be changed again.  
  
"I'm going back to sleep, Cairn," she said, turning her back to the still- sleeping Delanna. "We will keep travelling tomorrow?"  
  
There was a smile in his voice and he smoothed her hair on the pillow. "Tomorrow, my love. Go to sleep." He bent to kiss her lips and forehead and the tears fell more freely down her cheeks.  
  
Her belt knife slid neatly between his ribs and went directly into his heart. She could not see his face, but his grunt of surprise as he collapsed on top of her said volumes. The sudden shift in weight startled Delanna Sedai awake and she channeled a light on in their tiny room. "Emwyn?" She gasped as she saw Cairn lying atop the blankets, blood slowly forming a deep pool around his chest.  
  
"I could never have harmed you, Emwyn," Cairn gasped. "I never would have, had Rian commanded it of me." He blinked at her in surprise and a tear fell across his sharp cheekbones. His life-blood stained her shift as her tears fell onto skin growing ever colder.  
  
His eyes fluttered shut on a last gasp and Emwyn held him and listened closely, committing to memory the sound of his last breath. It was immediately followed by a piercing scream from the Aes Sedai sleeping in the next room. Cairn's hand went limp and the poisoned dagger fell from it, embedding itself in the floor at the exact moment the scream stopped. An eerie silence followed. "So Rian knows he is dead now," Delanna said, walking to her wardrobe and pulling on a robe. She turned to Emwyn, raw sympathy on her face. "Emwyn, I -" she fell silent. "I will leave you for a few minutes, but then we must be off. It is not safe to stay here any more. Pack your things." She vanished silently out into the corridor, shutting the door behind her.  
  
Emwyn heard nothing over the roar of blood in her ears. I killed Cairn, she thought numbly. She pulled the dagger out of the floor and threw it at the wall separating their room from Rian Sedai's with a wordless scream. No, she thought, grasping the Spring and holding it with all her might to keep the calm, there has been enough death and grief tonight. She felt the ball of emotions that was Delanna; fear, anger, sorrow, worry. Yet under it all, a sense of comfort. You are safe with me, Delanna Sedai, she thought, relaxing, and the bundle of emotions began to untangle themselves as she felt a flood of relief and pride from the bond.  
  
Emwyn stood and set Cairn's head down on her pillow. She changed into a dress, trousers, and her cloak, slinging her pack and longbow across her back. She had done her duty tonight and been a true Gaidar, Sister to Battle. She had made a great sacrifice and was ready to face the long road ahead, knowing that no harm would come to Delanna Sedai while Emwyn Kenothed lived. 


End file.
